What do ya know...

This thing still exists.

Long time, no see. Again.

I really feel like a poor excuse as a writer sometimes. I was recently irritable with circumstances surrounding my writing, and my book sales in general, and blaming the world (and God) for not granting me success. But a slice of humble pie has shown me that I am more at fault than anyone else.

Sure, I’ve got two small kids, a job, and the occasional burst of motivation to work out (keyword occasional). My time is limited, but it’s not nonexistent. And when I started counting the hours I’ve spent doom-scrolling, comparing, and complaining about other people’s success? Let’s just say the number was…humbling.

So I’ve decided to change that.

Change my mindset.

Change my outlook.

Change my routine.

There are a few other things I’m changing too, but those are still under wraps for now. So, for the moment, let’s start with this: Hi, it’s been a while. I’ve missed showing up here, and I plan to be around more often.

Now, onto a few fun things! A lot of my friends share little “favorites” in their newsletters, and I love that idea—so here’s my first attempt. I don’t have a cute section name yet, so we’ll toss it under The Gray Area, because honestly? It all feels a little gray and obscure around here anyway.

Reading: My own manuscript is eating most of my brain cells, but I did finish If It Makes You Happy by Julie Olivia** and LOVED it. I’m also listening to Nightweaver by R.M. Gray. OBSESSED. And every morning, alongside the Word, I start my day with New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp.

Watching: We wrapped this season of Only Murders in the Building, and we’re still making our way through The Chosen. Two totally different vibes, but I’m equally hooked on both.

Eating: I’ve attempted the carnivore diet three times now… and failed three times. I genuinely don’t know how people do it. On the flip side, I recently discovered matcha ice cream, and I fear I’ll never recover.

Doing: Mostly chasing toddlers. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Lately, I’ve been in this weird creative in-between, pulled toward too many ideas while feeling pressure to pick just one. But I don’t think creativity was ever meant to fit in a box. I believe it’s a reflection of God’s abundance—His goodness spilling out through us. So if I’m experimenting with new things (and failing at a few), I’m choosing to see that as grace.

I might share some of those creative things more often, I’m not sure. Until then, though, here’s a snippet from my current story. More to come of these two, very soon!

It’s a beautiful thing to have something that makes me angry and anxious and human. As messy as it is, it’s a part of my life, whether I want to acknowledge it or not. And I’ve been so afraid to feel anything anymore, I’ve resorted [redacted], rather than realizing what this means. Because feeling anything at all means life is still here. I’m still here.

That’s all for now.

Talk soon!

-Grayon